July 11th: Diaries 1991-2000


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I ♥ MW & JA


Time: 11.00pm (German time)

Well I’m on the coach to Berlin at present. We’re in France and just waiting to get off the ferry. I’m sitting with EA who’s okay & spending most of my time with CB, A & GB , E & K someone.

It seems to be going ok. I’m not missing M too much yet). Phoned him thismorning before I left and he said he loved me. I’ll see him in a week & a day from now.



Time: 11.15pm

Today’s been okay. School was alright. Playing in African Jigsaw this pm which was okay. But it’s a bit crap really.



Time: 12.35pm

Just got back from N Devon with O + David C. It was a very nice day on the beaches + driving around.

Visited Lee, Ilfracoombe + Ullacoombe or whoever it’s spelt.

So tired



Time: 11.45pm

Today okay – OD really nice to me which was great as I really like him too.

O staying over tonight – nice. Band practice 3 hours tonight.

Royal Festival Hall tomorrow.



Time: 11.55pm

Ho hum. Holidays are very strange. This human condition thing, I don’t get it.

When one is working all you can think about is holiday and when holiday comes the urge to work takes over – how weird is that?

A cunning way of keeping people alive though!

Saw O today + E.

Staying at G’s tomorrow! Life, eh?!



Time: 2.30am

Not done a lot today but it’s cool – w/ N watching Tv, doing jigsaws, drinking a little, went to Corsham. Purrr.

He makes me so happy.

He makes me forget myself.



Time: 11.50pm



Work today – a bit boring. I broke the computer! (again). I really don’t like those things. Wrote more letters, spoke to N, read some more (French + English). Tried to translate some Badiou but it’s really hard. I need to know in what sense words are used not just what they mean (use as opposed to meaning I suppose). Bad sleep last night, thinking of terrible (past) things. It’s all too reactive I know – but it’s so hard to escape – time and time again I find myself thinking about things I really don’t want to. Feeling kind of lonely, but it’s more physical than anything else (isn’t it always?).

Anyway, better sleep/dreams tonight I hope,