Today’s been good in places. Had rehearsal for Shakespeare and M etc were taking the piss out of C (again). IN the evening B came round before the Barn Dance in fact here she is now: hello – yes its me the famous (big-headed Bolchy) B! All I’d really like to say is I’M IN LOVE his name (confidential info here) MM!!! yes queer name lush person. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Nx
As you can see she’s mad(ly) (in love!) Went to Neston Barn dance tonight. It was a bit of laf! J + B J came round this afternoon. They’re both sweet!
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was at M’s house with S, C & B. We had such an excellent time! If M wasn’t in my life it would be hell. I love him as much as is possible. Today’s been great as well. It was S’s surprise 18th party today’s at the Officer’s mess in Colerne. It was quite good really. Well that’s about all. I’ll see M tomorrow night & I really can’t wait. I’m going to miss him so much when I go to Berlin which is just a week today. I love him so much.
Back to school today.
It was alright but I really don’t like many people at all! I’m so glad for M & O really.
I’ve got so much work at the moment. It’s such a nightmare.
(thought it was the 4th of July – oh it is! hmmm)
Anyway, went to Bath today. Spent all my money on C.Ds which was well worth as they are superb
Mirror Ball – Neil Young
& Loose Grooves compilation
Only had a chance to listen to 4 so far but they were amazing – if only other things didn’t have to be bought like stuff to wear. Bummer.
Wrote stuff tonight, which makes me feel better, always makes me better.
Only went in for 1 lesson today – great. Stayed home and finished ‘the bone People’ which was amazing – utterly original and beautiful.
One day…Did a bit o’work but not too much. As usual.
Holidays soon – hurrah!
Had a really shit night at Fusion. They played that fucking prodigy song ‘Smack my bitch up’ for a start, which is a small point but incredibly piss-offing nonetheless.
Everyone else was off their heads on speed and I missed O beyond belief despite having spent all day with him, which was utterly lovely.
Ah well – you live + learn.
Drugs are shit
Drink is shit
Everything but staying sane + aware is.
Tired. (too much playstation – aargh…)
Not done a lot today – tidied a little, wrote to N, watched TV, played piano.
PM is apparently really ill in hospital with blood poisoning – hope he’s okay.
This week has gone really quickly – Grrr.
And in a way it seems to have been a long time.
I do so miss N.
I want him here – Utterly true.
Well – the world hasn’t ended yet though there is certainly something apocalyptic about things lately. Maybe it’s always like this.
Sorting through all my stuff today – there’s a lot of it – odd really.
A few more days to go and the truth will out…there’s almost nothing worse than this feeling. Not quite sure also how I feel about sleeping with F the other night – kinda odd. Not really bad or anything though I don’t want to mention it to N & C or M or anyone for some reason.
I still wish I hadn’t ever been romantically/physically involved with any of my friends but hey – there’s not much I can do about it now. It’s not all bad I s’pose…
Wrote some letters today – enjoyable even if there was really not much to say. There is an urge to write which surges back when times are slow. I feel it drags at the moment – it certainly needs shaping. Elgar’s cello concerto is background…not background exactly – backdrop more like.
1st day of work today – okay. I was immensely tired after rainstorms all night but it was fine. I didn’t do much, mind! Just sat there and conjugated loads of verbs. French is going really well though, it’s just the speed that’s a problem. O is lovely. Spoke to parents and N tonight – miss both. Still – no alcohol for ages + lots of reading.