Hiya, today’s been a bit sad really. SG has been really chummy with B and it’s getting me down. I mean they used to be best friends. Oh, I hate myself for being jelous. My moods change so quickly, it’s queer. J has been winding me up all day. He knows he’s doing it. It really upsets me. I wish he’d stop. Been close to C + V today. They are really special friends. Shakespeare tonight was okay! Again saw lots of people. There were 800 people in the audience!
Talked to D this morning – the truth is I think I feel a great deal for him. I know I do. I don’t know why or what for but I do. He said he’d wait 3 years for me when he goes off to University.
College today was okay – I like it a lot.
Saw O tonight and got very scared. It might have been a panic attack.
I am unsure about things at the moment – I love O and I feel a lot for D. How strange that is.
I want to believe.
The truth is out there.
Blimey – bloody brainwashed. Paranoid.
Impure. Is nothing sacred?
Innocence is commonly referred to as ignorance.
Patriotic rhymes with neurotic
TRUST NO ONE
There’s no end
except for one.
Went to see ‘Richard III’ tonight at Hazlebury with family, O and RD.
Fun indeed – also met S there which was really nice.
Other than that – shopping – felt a bit shit earlier but feel better now!
Work tomorrow – urk!
Tidied room today – the days seem a little short – perhaps I should get up earlier…
N should be coming down to visit on Friday!
Yay! Should do stuff tomorrow….
Hot my results today – more ways than one:
71 – Recent Continental Philosophy
70 – Euro novel
67 – Aesthetics
65 – HMP
Not bad huh? Oh – and negative.
Hmm. Got research work for next week for Wilts Wildlife Trust – went on one of their walks this evening with Ma + Pa – pretty nice. It’s been very hot today. Spoke to N – he appears to be ostracising himself from everyone. Which is weird. Spoke to C + M too – they’re both lovely.
Work to do!
Work better today – apart from unfortunate car/carté misunderstanding! Weird flashback thoughts all the time about people at university – J, J…it’s like some bizarre processing, like the dreams. It’s so affecting.
But I feel better – apart from bloodloss affair – it’s not drinking all the time I think, and being on my own. I love being alone sometimes, to read, to think about things.
Really tired. No work tomorrow – a good thing.